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wishful thinking
Created on 2004-01-27 19:53:44 (#2029998), last updated 2005-02-16
6 comments received, 4 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
22 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | 3point_turn |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 06-25 |
| Location: | Selma, Alabama, United States |
Bioi have been through a lot. more than people think. it's not that it's improtant. it's just because i don't talk. i hold a lot of secrets. some things i know that people think i don't . half the stuff i wish i didn't know. the others i wish i could tell. people wonder why i'm shy. is it because i was born this way? i wish i coulld say yes. but i can't
i believe i am the keeper of secrets. i will not for nothing tell a soul what i know. i hate that because that is why i go through depressed times. it is what i know but can not say. it is good to tell some people how you feel or what you know. but i can't. i am scared.
scared of what? i do not know. i wish i could say. someone once told me that i am afraid and my subconscience knows. but if so. then why don't i ever have dreams? i don't get it. i am afraid of everything and nothing at the same time. i know there is nothing there when i turn out the light but ther is something tugging the back of my mind that there is evil around. everywhere.
what i am writing probably dosen't make any sense. i don't get everything i am writing either. but i am writing from the heart. what does that mean? i am afraid of my heart? that it'll lie to me? lead me in the wrong direction? i don't know.
my mind is the most confusing thing in the world. it should be the eighth wonder. no one will truly understand me. for how can they if i don't truly understand myself.
sometimes i wish i could just go alone in nature and think. no. i think to much and nothings come through. i believe that that is the reason why it takes me so long to fall asleep. because i try to figure myself out and i can't.
it drives me crazy. seeing all those people out there smiling when i know behind that smile is not what you think. every one tricks everybody else and no one knows that. but i have figured it out. i don't want to know that. i wish so badly sometimes that i was blinded from the knowledge of relization. but i know that won't happen.
the only thing that comes out from the part of me that i don't understand is my peoms and songs. but i don't understand them! oh how i wish i did! i relize now that i truly only express myself through my writings. and it really hurts me when someone says that they are bad.
i am still searching for me. the real me. not the one that you see. i know that i won't figure myself out but i'll try just as hard. sometimes i think i know other people better than myself. i feel lost in what i am trying to say. in fact i don't know what i'm trying to say anymore.
maybe one day i won't be troubled. maybe. but i know that it is wishful thinking....
i believe i am the keeper of secrets. i will not for nothing tell a soul what i know. i hate that because that is why i go through depressed times. it is what i know but can not say. it is good to tell some people how you feel or what you know. but i can't. i am scared.
scared of what? i do not know. i wish i could say. someone once told me that i am afraid and my subconscience knows. but if so. then why don't i ever have dreams? i don't get it. i am afraid of everything and nothing at the same time. i know there is nothing there when i turn out the light but ther is something tugging the back of my mind that there is evil around. everywhere.
what i am writing probably dosen't make any sense. i don't get everything i am writing either. but i am writing from the heart. what does that mean? i am afraid of my heart? that it'll lie to me? lead me in the wrong direction? i don't know.
my mind is the most confusing thing in the world. it should be the eighth wonder. no one will truly understand me. for how can they if i don't truly understand myself.
sometimes i wish i could just go alone in nature and think. no. i think to much and nothings come through. i believe that that is the reason why it takes me so long to fall asleep. because i try to figure myself out and i can't.
it drives me crazy. seeing all those people out there smiling when i know behind that smile is not what you think. every one tricks everybody else and no one knows that. but i have figured it out. i don't want to know that. i wish so badly sometimes that i was blinded from the knowledge of relization. but i know that won't happen.
the only thing that comes out from the part of me that i don't understand is my peoms and songs. but i don't understand them! oh how i wish i did! i relize now that i truly only express myself through my writings. and it really hurts me when someone says that they are bad.
i am still searching for me. the real me. not the one that you see. i know that i won't figure myself out but i'll try just as hard. sometimes i think i know other people better than myself. i feel lost in what i am trying to say. in fact i don't know what i'm trying to say anymore.
maybe one day i won't be troubled. maybe. but i know that it is wishful thinking....
ConnectInterests (74):
alternative, angel sanctuary, angels, anime, beaches, black, boot camp, camera, car races, cars, cats, ceres, cheese, chinese, class, cliffs, cowboy bebop, death, drawing, dvds, everything, fight club, film, final fantasy, foo fighters, friends, goldmember, good music, guys, hanging out, ice skating, inu-yasha, jimmy eat world, jinny, kill bill, kryptonite, languages, laughing, lee, long hair, lord of the rings, loud music, love spell, mangas, metrosexuals, mix cds, monterey, morgue, movies, music, mysterious, nirvana, nothing, paintings, personality, petshop of horrors, pictures, pink hair, playstation 2, pretty eyes, random sayings, reading, rebecca, rollerblading, saleen s7, scrolling, sean, selma, silverchair, stephen, stuff, the ring, waves, weird sayings
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 | 3point_turn@livejournal.com | |
 | ahff bi won |  |
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